I'm just ...

... trying - I really am. And yet it seems like just another try. But I'll keep on trying, maintaining the effort - even redoubling it. What for? I wish I'd be more certain...
I can only guess and think about it but the more I'm thinking about it the harder it gets to succeed in what I'm trying. I can only try. Where does that road lead? Where the other? What is my goal? What am I trying by the way? What would change if I'd change?
I'm just trying. But life's a bitch. And being blessed / burdened with a mind does it's part, too. Why not be satisfied - why think? Why not be anywhere and do anything - why think? Why not be me - why think what I am?
Thank god I'll think differently in a few hours - welcome back Dr. Jekyll, good night Mr. Hyde.